Original: Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.
Revised: Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.
亮点评析 greatly,rapidly属于常用词,表示程度高、速度快,这样的词在表达效果上不够具体,缺乏说服力,在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具体生动地表现出科技的影响力到底有多大,其影响力已渗透到我们生活的方方面面,at a speed which is quite unprecedented意为“以一种前所未有的速度”,形象地道出了变化速度之快。